Thursday 6 August 2009

Paranoia-cha-cha-cha..

I really do my own head in sometimes. If there is the tiniest doubt in my mind that something could go wrong then my brain wont stop worrying! For example, over the weekend I had convinced myself that I was pregnant. I woke up at 3am Sunday morning and had this horrid burst of fear flood through me, and even though my rational self tried to reason with my paranoid side, I still didnt get back to sleep. I think I must have missed the "laid back" class at school!!

Tonight I have made up for my lack of exercise over the last couple of days and burnt 816 cals on the exercise bike. I hope it makes a difference on the scales tomorrow because I'm fed up of the same red numbers glaring back at me. I know I should be pleased with 132.2 but this time last week I was 131.8!

One of my colleagues asked me today when I was going to stop losing weight. I said "when I no longer look like a sack of sh!t in a swimsuit"...I'm getting really fed up of people telling me I don't want to be skinny. Erm, YES...yes I do thank you. Please don't speak for the thin person inside of me who hasnt been seen since 1992. Why is it ok for other people to be thin but not me? Why can't I at least find out for myself whether I'm happy at 105lbs or not? I mean hey - if its as terrible as they make it sound then I'll eat cake! Then everyones a winner!!

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